Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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