i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
