why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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