The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
