what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
