she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
