do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
