I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
