Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If that was your dad, he is hot
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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