Buhtt sex?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize