this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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