census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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