Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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