fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
