Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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