Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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