I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
