You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
