I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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