So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize