I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
