i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
