no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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