you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
