The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I don't deserve a penis
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
