wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
