They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
