You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
