i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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