I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
