She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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