it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
