Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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