he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Is it penis luge time yet?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
