i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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