remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
