Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
