worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
