i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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