why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
