booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize