I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
