when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
