ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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