you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
