Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
