is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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