I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
