I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
