Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Randomize
