just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
