She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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