she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
