Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
