i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
