No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
