Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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