You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
