I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
