im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize