So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
