Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
