The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
